Poison The Well
[Note: This is a direct transcript of the spoken audio. It reflects the natural rhythm, emotion, and raw conversation of the episode, rather than perfectly polished grammar.]
Welcome to Gritty Mama. I’m Emily, your spiritual midwife.
We don't fear the dark here—we walk through it together, because I know that in the messy, intense labor of the soul, we are never alone.
We are here to peel back the layers to meet the truth, and ultimately, to meet the One who holds it all together.
Because before there is the glow, there is always the grit, and your healing is worth the labor.
Let’s get into it.
**Over the years, I’ve learned just how smart and stealthy the enemy really is. He knows that if he can slip bitterness into just one person's life, the runoff will eventually compromise everyone around them. See, a well is meant to serve many—it’s the center point of life and health. But when we harbor pain, that well becomes poisoned. That’s why today, we’re exposing the poisonous roots of unforgiveness and how that contamination binds us. Let's go.**
[A Poisoned Well]
Hey there! Welcome back. Todaayy, I wanna talk about how our well becomes poisoned. And if you haven’t guessed already, our hearts - are - the wells - of our life. Ifff you remember from our last episode, I talked about, or I mentioned, Proverbs chapter 4 verse 23 that says - “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do - flows - from it.” And if you contaminate the water of a well, that is an easy kill of the masses.
Which, another reminder, John 10:10, is that - “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy.” So by this analogy alone… if you… Poison the heart of ONE, then you can Destroy the lives of MANY.
So how exactlyyy, does the well of our heart become poisoned. – Easy answer… unforgiveness.
One thing about unforgiveness, is that, it is- a form- of bondage. [Inhale] The - if you look up the definition unforgiveness is defined as “unwilling…or unable to forgive”. So when you are unwilling, or unable to forgive, you- are then- drinking- that contaminated water; and you’re becoming bound to a sickness that you don’t even know that you have. And then you become contagious to those around you.
And what ends up happening isss, you become trapped in a cycle of negativity; which manifests in 3 ways:
Emotional Bondage
Physical Health Issues
and Broken Relationships
[Inhale] And this [exhale] leads me to a perfect example [nervous chuff] [phlegmatic inhale] ooooff… myself.
[A Vicious Cycle]
[Large inhale]...… [spoken on exhale] My husband and I- have had- a lot of marital problems- over the years.
Annd, I used to harbor a-lot-of-painn. I was very angry, and resentful, and that all caused me to be, depressed. Annd, I would hold all this in, to the point where I couldn’t hold it anymore and then I would just explode - and EEVERY-THINNG would just come out of me like a raging, torrent.
But, unfortunately, that also caused me to end up hurting those around me; causing them emotional damage because they were the “close guy”. They were the one, there who… who caught the, the… ball [reflexive chuff] of pain, if you will [inhale] - which onlyy actually furthered [slight exhale], my marital problems.
Essentially I was just ssstuuck, in a VICIOUS CYCLE that caused my family to drink that contaminated water too. [Inhale] Remember like I just said in the beginning [light exhale], if you Poison the Heart of ONE, you Destroy the Lives of MANY. And that’s exactly, what was happening in my case.
I was, ssoo bouund to my angerrr, and just living off of my emotionns - which right there is the perfect example of Emotional Bondage… that it actually caused me to stay stuck. Annnd, I could not move up in life no matter how hard I tried. [Inhale] And every time I did try, negativity and things that just were, ‘not going right’, pulled me right back into a depressed and “non-responsive” state.
Also- my- relationships, were strained. With my husband, and my kids… they were the ones in the home, they were the most important. [Inhale] But this is also a good example of the Broken Relationships.
My pain, and therefore my outbursts, caused my family to be on guard, while also harboring their own anger at life. And the mix of my emotional and relational states, created bad habits, that controlled our lives. Which, brings about the Physical Health Issues.
My actionnns, my - th-so much time wasted - especially with the kids [inhale]… it all just deepened [exhale] my depression. And it actually ended up causing me to be more angry [reflexive chuff] and more resentful than I already was… because of the results that was happening from all of this.
It’s- a horrible way- to live life. And all because I- could not- forgive. I was bitter, and angry, and in pain - and I wanted my husband to feel how he was making me feel. My state of despair [nervous chuckle] was poisoning those around me - which was exactly what the enemy wanted. Cuz if you Poison the Heart of ONE - you Destroy the Lives of MANY.
[An Unforgiving Servant]
Now lemme- give youuu, a little story from the Bible about how, unforgiveness, is equivalent to bondage as well. In, Matthew chapter 18, verses 21 through 35, we have the parable of The Unforgiving Servant.
So just to kindaaa- bulletpoint this for you… feel free to go read it yourself because, I think it’s a good story [light laugh] - but, Peterrr, asks Jesus how many times he, should forgive someone. And then he says “up to 7 times?” And Jesus told him, “Nnnot 7. But 70 times 7.” And… essentially um, as many times as necessary [light laugh] is what he’s saying there. And thennn Jesus goes on to tell this story:
And He says, “The Kingdom of Heaven, is like a king, who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And there was a man who owed this king - 10,000 -bags of gold.” Now obviously this man being a lowly little servant, could - not - pay such a grand amount. And the king ordered that he, his wife, his children, and everything that he had, was to be sold in order to pay this debt.
So the servant [inhale]… being so distraught - fell to his knees and begged the king to be patient with him, and that he would pay everything back. And then the king took pity, knowing “this isn’t gonna happen”, canceled the debt, and let him go.
[Inhale] So can you imagine, first of all, [quick burst of air] being in this man’s position… You owe this huge debt that… i-if, if you ever pay it back it’s gonna take your entire lifetime probably [chuckle], several years at the least [inhale]… to just be forgiven you and you can go free? You and your family are… you’re golden?- right - uh - pun unintended but [laughs] suiting I guess [large inhale] u-righ-tha-I-mean that would be nice - I wish, I wish debt could be forgiven like that. Anywho, moving on.
So after this, this mannn, comes across, one of his fellow servants, who owed him,100 silver coins. Now - umm - first of all can we just compare 100 silver coins to 10,000 bags of gold. I’d say that’s a pretty extreme difference.
So anyway, this servant… grabs, the other man, and begins to CHOKE HIM, while demanding [gruffly] [harshly] “Pay back what you owe me!”
Now his fellow servant fell to his knees and a-then begged him, “Be patient with me and I will pay you back.”
But that first man refused... [Disgusted scoff] Un-, Instead of, doing what the king did… he says… “No” - and he goes off and has this man thrown in prison, until this debt of 100 little silver coins is paid back.
First of all, that’s just wild. [Inhale] Anyway. There werrre other servants arouunnd that saw what happenned, and they became enraged, and went and told the king what had happened. And so this king calls the first man back in and says, “You wicked servant. I canceled ALL that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had on you?”
And in his anger, the king handed the man over to the jailer to be tor-tured… [ironic chuckle]-until he should pay back alll that he owed.
This man wanted to be forgiven of a large debt that hee- could not- pay… which was a fault on hhhiis part. But he couldn’t even forgive a smaller debt… a greatly smaller fault, that was done to him? Because of this unforgiveness it-[ironic chuckle]-actually caused HIM bondage, PLUS a debt he could not pay, AND TORTURE.
I mean that was worse than just the debt to begin with!
[A Blind Awakening]
But this just comes to show, when we don’t forgive others, we are literally - torturing ourselves. And if mystory alone doesn’t show that to you thenn, I don’t know what to tell you friend. [Reflexive chuckle] [Inhale] Because… my life before was emotional torture. Which then cauused, mental torture. Annd ALL of that caused physical problems that I- didn’t- even- realize- was torture - until it was… quote-unquote ‘too late’… at least by my perspective.
The poison of unforgiveness in my heart… was doing its job. [Nervous chuff]-I-was dying inside, but my family was dying too.
Now if you’re listening to this, annd, maayybee, just now realizing that your well has also been contaminated, and that that’s why you’ve been dying from the inside out, I want you to know this:
Your life is NOT over.
This is NOT the end of your story.
And any punishment that you have been trying to inflict on your own inflictors is only actually torturing yourself.
So.
What happens when there's poison in your heart.
What happens whenn your heart gets cut, and that poison, spreads.
Find out next week, as we go into part 2: A Bitter Infection. We’re going to discuss:
Howw uncleaned wounds become deadly
Howw- to- detect when you’ve been poisoned
And why you can’t just - forget - and move on
Hey friend!
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m’Bye
