House Out of Order
[Note: This is a direct transcript of the spoken audio. It reflects the natural rhythm, emotion, and raw conversation of the episode, rather than perfectly polished grammar.]
Welcome to Gritty Mama. I’m Emily, your spiritual midwife.
We don't fear the dark here—we walk through it together, because I know that in the messy, intense labor of the soul, we are never alone.
We are here to peel back the layers to meet the truth, and ultimately, to meet the One who holds it all together.
Because before there is the glow, there is always the grit, and your healing is worth the labor.
Let’s get into it.
Hey guys, how are you? Um, so this is not going to be a typical episode. Honestly I don’t think I would even actually call this an episode — this is just kind of a hodgepodge, straight from my brain to the mic [laugh] I don’t have any notes or outline… which I normally would, um… And there’s every chance that you’re gonna catch some background noise-be that an animal or a child, it is possible I’ll get interrupted, hopefully I don’t. And I do apologize if I end up a little bit all over the place, um, sometimes it’s a little hard to gather my thoughts and I kinda go back and forth. But. Anyway.
Um, so, the whole reason I’m doing this today like this, is because, I did not have anything for you. And that’s not to say that I didn’t have anything planned, I have stuff in the works right now; but, it has been so busy around here, and this last week has just been—extra. But moreso, just looking around today - cuz I was telling the Lord this morning and even last night “God what am I gonna do?” I was like “I don’t even have anything prepared for them, like, what do You want me to put out there—what do You want me to say?”
And I even toyed with the idea of maybe going live on social media just to kinda say what I’m saying now; but then I was like “Well, what about the people who actually just follow the podcast and aren’t on social media, and duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.” So anyhoo. Here we are. I am just — goin’ with the flow and… I’m just gonna say what’s on my mind and I-probably not even gonna edit this cuz-I mean-time, first of all. So here’s a little taste of… the unedited me [laugh] which really just means-again-there’s probably gonna be background noise, probably interruption and a bit of, the back and forth, with, my thought process. So I do apologize, but, I mean it is what it is-if you were having a conversation with me in person, this is a little more of what it would be like, I’m sure. Actually not even I’m sure, it’s a definite. But anyway! Anyway. [laugh]
So, I just kinda wanna touch on the subject of “mess”. I’m only gonna take a few minutes for this, it isn’t gonna be very long. But, um, this morning, when I was just, kinda, frustrated-I don’t know frustrated’s the right word, maybe… um… hold on let me look it up.
Okay well the only word I can think of… that… kinda fits, would be “trepidated” [laugh] about not having anything to put out there — and definitely "perturbed" because of the state of my house. And throughout a series of events, which really just going through my morning and, um, how God tends to talked to me — talked to me? Oh my gosh-talk to me… and so there’s just like little things, anyway. So my house is in, chaos right now. The mess is, a lot. I thought about-when I said I thought about going on social media, I thought about going live and just like giving you guys a little glimpse; but, I don’t really like to do that cuz… I don’t mind giving like little glimpses of my house, it’s not that, it’s… your house is your, like sacred space, right. I don’t even like visitors unannounced-I don’t care if you’re my bestest friend. My bestest friends know [chuckle] that I don’t like surprise visits. Just cuz this is my space-this is my bubble, I like… my privacy, I like… um, just… to protect my peace, I like - my - peace, right. Whether that’s physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, audibly. [laugh] But the point is-I know I’m not the only one and my husband has a hard time getting this cuz he’ll tell people “yeah just come on over anytime just drop by” and I’m like “NO. No no. Call first please thank you.” [laugh]
Anyway, I’m tangenting. So the mess, and it-is-huggghck-it’s- first of all I’m getting tongue tied I apologize. So point being here I decided that instead of working on the podcast today like I normally would, I need to clean my house. I need to clean up my workspace, and just… start getting my house in order again. Because when your house is out of order, you can’t expect to help anybody else put their house in order — and I mean that literally and metaphorically.
If you listened to my first episode then you remember the sayin-you might remember the saying, um, “that you can’t save others without first saving yourself.” Okay this is that same thing - you cannot help others if you don’t first help yourself. So if my life is in chaos, how can I expect to help you get your life out of chaos [chuckle] like that just doesn’t work.
And, what a lot of people don’t understand is that the physical realm and the spiritual realm are so greatly intertwined — they are so connected it’s… unbelievable. [chuckle] And, um, something I have been learning over the last several years, actually, but the last few years specifically, is how much the spiritually affects the physical-but also kinda vice versa. And so if you are in a place spiritually that is just… chaotic, your life is going to be chaotic-and I definitely know that one because I’ve lived it, trust you me.
Whereas, now I’m kind of on the opposite end of that-now that I’m get-getting-mostly have gotten, still getting-it’s always a work in progress. I don’t - know about - not I don’t know about, hold on, backtrack… I don’t care how far you have come on your spiritual walk, with Christ hopefully, there is always room for improvement. So anyhoo, that said, now that spiritually I am in a much better place than I used to be many years ago — not even many, shoot just, say, the last-7 years ago, ‘k, um… sorry, I’m losing my train of thought.
So, where I’m at spiritually now… has actually helped me to make my physical life better. And not just my life, but like, my home… the physical environment that I live in, that my family lives in; because it affects all of us, we all live here together. Anyhoo, when one area of your life is in chaos, it affects the other areas of your life-that’s where I’m going with this-and with my home, the physical environment that my family and myself lives in, being in such disarray because it has not gotten the focus that it needs, um, over these past few weeks, it’s grea-it’s starting to affect me mentally and physically.
Um, ironically, just this morning I was sitting here thinking about how I am in a place of transition. I am going from being an inconsistent person, who has this dream, and has this need to do something-being this podcast, um… to… get God’s message out there in a way that it’s not, typically portrayed. Not that I’ve heard anyway.
But going from a place of being inconsistent, and therefore, in a way unreliable because I’m not… um… doing what I need to do, regularly, an-and… my apologies guys, li-I said my thoughts are all over the place - but to go from that inconsistent person to becoming a consistent person… which um… I’m a lot better at now [light laugh] thanks to, this wonderful… woman, of God that I have been working with. She has helped me a lot with that. Anyhoo.
So I’m in transition from being inconsistent to consistent, right, I’m in transition from… old to new. And I am thankful to say I’m closer to the new side [light chuckle] I’m better at the consistent part-which is actually why I decided to just come on here and record this anyway, because I didn’t want to leave anybody hanging, and… you know, I wanna keep, getting stuff out there for you. Like I said I have stuff in the works, I just haven’t had the ta-chance or the time lately to get to it-which I really hate-I really hate.
But I realized this morning, during this whole process of thinking of the transition and everything, that the chaos of my house right now, is greatly affecting my work-ability. And, ironically, somewhere in the midst of all this happening [slight chuckle] I had seen something that said “out with the old, in with the new.” And then… up on my, uh, corkboard… right above my work space that I’m staring at right now says “Clean up and clean out. Declutter. Make room for His blessings. Out with the old, in with the new.” UH, I’m definitely gonna have to do, an episode on [amused exhale] how God communicates because it’s pretty cool… um… But that’s just a little touch on how He communicates, the little things that He does, the-like you’ll always get multiple things, but anyway.
Point - being - here - I need to put some focus into my house because it has been greatly neglected and it’s affecting how I’m able to show up for you guys. But I feel like there’s somebody out there who needs to hear this for themselves as well because… you can’t just put a lot of focus into one area and ignore the others because it is going to cause… blockage in your flow [chuckle] alright-everything is energy, which I will be actually getting to that, in another episode for you guys very soon.
So when you’ve got… this going on in the background. You can’t see me pointing at the background, thankfully [laughing speech]-cuz-oh-my-gosh. But it’s okay, I’m gonna work on that. The kids are gonna help me, with, other parts of the house; and hopefully by the time the weekend hits, or even over the weekend, we are done and I can get back to focusing on what I need to focus on here-and if I’m not able to get… next week’s episode ready in time, then… I don’t know maybe I’ll just do another something like this, and, maybe that’s when I’ll talk a little bit about how God communicates, um… I don’t know this is just off the top of my head right now, I can’t say that’s what’s gonna happen, but, alright, yeah, anyway. Also can I just say I’m super surprised right now that we have not been interrupted by my toddler… or the dog, or the chicken, or rooster; because I tried recording a minute ago and that definitely happened [light laugh] but um…
Also I almost completely forgot I wanted to mention this, is um… the aspect of a reset. You know I just talked in my last episode about… um… basically resetting your mind to how God had originally intended it to be… But [light laugh] when our physical - environment, is in chaos and disarray and just, UGHCK — [unintelligible stutter] that can make it hard, to do, a spiritual, or a mental, or even an emotional, reset. Because we are in a physical world, we are so… um, caught up in the physical, it’s just-it’s in our face it’s the… um… I guess predominant realm, in which, we live our lives, because we are physical creatures-But anyway, my point here is, sometimes you just have to take a moment to focus and do a reset in one area in order to be able to have that flow that you need in the other areas — or even… the… bigger, uh, the more promem-problematic area, resetting that in order the have the ability to reset in other areas.
Anyways I’m gonna take this hodgepodge and I’m just gonna leave it where it’s at. Clean up your mess. Whether that’s physical or mental or spiritual… work on it. Cause, you know what they say, “cleanliness is next to Godliness,” right — and that’s actually pretty true. Something I have discovered is… demons looove chaos, and they hide - in - the mess. And I mean literally AND metaphorically.
So. I’m gonna leave you guys to it. I’m gonna get my house in order. Friends get your houses in order. So that way we can… have… first of all a relaxing and refreshing place to physically be in. And then we can focus in the areas we need to like, our spiritual health. Because it all greatly affects each other, and… yeah. So anyway, I’m gonna clean this gunk out [laugh speech]-so I can clean out the gunk in other areas that are affecting me. So that I can show up for you guys, and show up for my family, show up for the Lord and myself and just - all the places all the things - you know how it is as a wife as a mom, or maybe you’re a dad listening, I don’t know… But all the things that vie for your attention. There’s a lot. I-it adds up. And sometimes it’s too much and right now… it’s too much so, yes let’s clean it out guys — so we can flow and grow and, do the things and, yeah, anyway. I love you all. God bless you. And I will talk to you soon.
P.S. I’m sorry about all those anyways [chuff] that was a lot, and that was a little annoying to listen to-[thunder]-Oh, and now there’s the thunder and that’s my queue to go. Alright ya’ll, have a great one [chuckle speech] I love you and I will talk to you later.
Hey friend!
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m’Bye
